distance is underrated
3:59 pm -- Thursday, Nov. 19, 2009
i am an introvert
2:00 pm -- Saturday, Nov. 14, 2009
one of my happiest recent memories is driving in australia. not in the city, but on the open road, on the freeways, with nary a human or vehicle for miles and miles.
feeling that i don't have to report to anybody, i don't have to care about anyone else, albeit only for a few days or so, its amazingly liberating.
driving as and when i please, stopping where and when i fancy, eating only when i feel like it, is a luxury that, admittedly, cannot be sustained.
forgive me though, as i romanticize and reminisce about those days and the open road. i've frequently been accused of overly-romanticizing. but you know, for those of us who do, we really don't see it as such.
it only comes across as so because we have truly been given that briefest of glimpses of pure unadulterated joy and bliss. its not romanticizing if it really was that amazing. if you accuse me of doing so, maybe its because you haven't gone there before.
and i feel sorry for you. everyone should have that sense of bliss to hold on to. for you, it may not be the possibilities of the open road lying ahead of you that give you that joy, but i dearly hope you find it one day, whatever it is that will give you that pure joy.
anyway, back to my point. i realise i'm really such an introvert. some of my happiest moments, truly, are when i'm alone. alone to explore, to see without coloured lenses, to immerse myself fully and completely in the experience.
but i don't want to be alone without you
horrible
8:22 pm -- Thursday, Nov. 12, 2009
i feel horrible. and i don't even know how to describe it. like there's some torrent inside of me that needs to be unleashed. but i can't. and its boiling and boiling and boiling.
i really don't know how to deal with what i feel now. my life is not moving anywhere and i have no idea how to change that.
i'm having doubts about taking this trip. but i'm too...scared, maybe, to change my plans. serious doubts. we'll see what happens in a few days time.
so much for my happy ending
11:51 am -- Friday, Nov. 06, 2009
Ohh, ohh
So much for my happy ending
Ohh, ohh
So much for my happy ending
ohh, ohh,ohhhh
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hangin'
In a city so dead.
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything
That I wanted,(that I wanted)
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it (we lost it)
All of the memories so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
ohh, ohh,
So much for my happy ending
Ohh ohh
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say (they say)
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they (But so are they)
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?(even know you?)
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do (all the shit that you do)
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything
That I wanted (that I wanted)
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it (we lost it)
All of the memories so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you care
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
He was everything, everything
That I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it
All of the memories so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
You were everything, everything
That I wanted (that I wanted)
We were meant to be, supposed to be
But we lost it
All of the memories so close to me
Just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
ohh ohh ohh ohh
So much for my happy ending
ohh ohh ohh ohh
So much for my happy ending
ohh, ohh, ohh, ohhhhh
bitter heart
10:53 am -- Friday, Nov. 06, 2009
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.
And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday,
So tell me whats her name.
Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum.
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.
someone come and save my bitter, bitter heart.
Follow my progress here!